


Devil Doesn't Sleep

by starlsen



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlsen/pseuds/starlsen
Summary: Jackie is dead.Johnny is gone.V feels completely alone, and seeks comfort in the only man that makes her feel alive.
Relationships: Female V & Viktor Vector, Female V/Viktor Vector, V & Viktor Vector, V/Viktor Vector
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	Devil Doesn't Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended music: [Delicate Weapon - Grimes, Lizzy Wizzy](https://open.spotify.com/track/1hT3eaGzrcFriQtgGdvsZv?si=UyNnnbXEQUqy9FTOY_1F2Q)

Every night was the same.

Dark. Quiet. Empty.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Alt had saved her life. Two weeks since she had lost Johnny.

And every goddamn night since, she lay on her bed, unable to sleep, reliving the events that led her to where she was now. 

The fucking heist that lost V her best friend. The biochip that almost killed her. Johnny Silverhand setting up camp inside her head. The relentless fighting at Arasaka. The final encounter with Alt and Johnny in Cyberspace. All of it replayed in V's mind, over and over. Every single night, images swarmed behind her closed eyes, sounds swam around her apartment, forcing her to relive it all. 

V sighed, rolling onto her back. She looked across her empty apartment, lit only from the neon lights outside of her window. God, it was so fucking quiet.

_Jackie's voice. His laugh. His dying words. The tears in his eyes and faint smile on his lips as he whispered Misty's name. The blood._

_God, the blood._

She screwed her eyes shut, bringing her hands up to press her palms against her eyes.

She waited for Johnny's voice, his presence, anything - but it never came. Her hands fell to her bare chest, a heaviness squeezing her heart. She was alone. So fucking alone. A lump formed in her throat. She swallowed it down.

She felt like she'd tried everything. Any time she finally managed to drift off, she'd startle awake, shaking, sweating, struggling to catch her breath.

She was exhausted. She hadn't worked since it all happened. She'd taken it easy - Misty's advice. She'd even tried meditating, but it only allowed the scenes in her head to become clearer, the voices louder. Earlier this evening, she'd turned off all the lights, left her radio playing quietly. She'd had a long, hot shower, most of which she’d spent sitting on the floor, leaning against the tiled wall, knees pulled up to her chest. When the water ran cold, she'd reached up to shut it off and remained there, staring at the water draining away, until she was shivering and sought the comfort of a fluffy towel. 

She was _trying_ to adjust to life without Jackie. Without Johnny. She was the first to admit he was a colossal fucking pain in the ass, but… she didn’t expect anyone to understand the relationship they’d developed. The oneness they’d shared. She felt so fucking alone without him; it was too quiet in her head now. She still had those close to her - Panam and the Aldecaldos, Judy, Kerry, Misty… and above all, she had Viktor Vektor - but none of them could ease the numbness she felt now that Johnny was gone. None of them except Viktor, at least.

She thought of the night she woke up on his table, mere hours from certain death. He could barely look at her and he was _so fucking angry_. He'd told her to figure her shit out, to fix it, his anger laced with worry as he’d turned his back to her with a heavy sigh. She remembered how painful the sharpness of his words were. She’d picked up the gun he’d laid out for her, slipped the pills into her pocket and glanced at him before turning away. As she'd reached the gate of the clinic, he'd said her name. Her _real_ name. She'd turned back to him, heart in her throat, and he was leaning his clenched fists on the desk, head hung.

He'd said, " _You come back to me, y'hear?_ " and looked up when she didn't answer. She'd limped back over to him, and he'd looked down at her with a furrowed brow and clenched jaw. She'd touched his shoulder, gently turning him to face her as he stood upright. She’d reached up to stroke his cheek, and his eyes had softened; she'd slid her hand round to the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He'd been stiff for a moment, before relaxing into her and bringing his large hands up to hold her face firmly against his. Vik had parted his lips and kissed her again, tilting his head a little, his mouth moving slowly and tenderly. In that moment, with V so close to death and sharing her first kiss with the man she loved, she knew she had to come back. She had to come back for _him_. She'd pulled away, nuzzled her nose against his, whispering a promise to return before leaving. They hadn't brought it up since.

She thought of the way he'd stared at her, wide eyed and dumbfounded, when she'd stumbled back into his clinic a few days later; free of Johnny, free of impending death, mere hours after it was all over. 

“ _It’s done_ ,” She’d said, and Vik had staggered to his feet.

“ _The chip?_ ”

“ _Gone_.” 

“ _And you_ -” He’d swallowed hard. “ _You’re okay?_ ” 

“ _Alt,_ ” She’d said with a weary smile. “ _She saved me_.”

Vik had nodded slowly, staring at her before dropping the equipment in his hands and rushing over to her, wrapping her up in his arms and holding her tight. He'd pressed his face into her neck, breathing shakily, mumbling against her skin that he knew she'd come back. She'd threaded her fingers through his hair, breathing him in, her heart swelling and fluttering and damn near ready to burst through her chest. He'd pulled away slightly, their noses brushing, staring at her with pure disbelief in his eyes. He'd cupped her face in his hands, parting his lips to say something when Misty had come flying in through the door, throwing herself at V's back, tears flowing freely as the three of them hugged. 

She missed the feeling of his strong arms around her, especially now as she lay alone, unable to sleep.

She reached for her phone, the background a picture of herself, Jackie, Misty and Viktor. Misty was sitting on Jackie's lap, taking the selfie with an arm stretched out to get Viktor and V behind them. V had jumped onto Vik's back, arms around his neck, grinning from ear to ear and Jackie had his eyebrow raised, a devilish smirk on his handsome face. Tears filled V's eyes and she blinked them away, gaze returning to the man in the back.

_Vik_.

Her thumb traced his smiling face, and before she knew what she was doing, she was opening her messages.

V: _You up?_

She stared at the screen, a hopefulness curling in her gut as she waited. The message appeared as ' _read_ ', but no reply came. She placed the phone face down beside her, looking over to the dreamcatcher, a gift from Misty, that hung above her bed. 

Then, a call came through on the holo. It was Viktor.

" _Hey, kid._ " 

"Hey." She replied weakly, sitting up, bringing her knees up to cover her bare chest. His head tilted a little.

" _You all right?_ " His voice was gentle, laced with concern. She could see he was in his clinic, despite the late hour.

"Yeah," she said unconvincingly. "Can't sleep." She paused and he smiled sympathetically. "You workin'?"

" _Had a patient come in as I was closin' up shop. Sent him on his way just now._ " She nods.

"Can you, uh," The words suddenly died in her throat. Was it too much to ask of him? He looked tired. She swallowed. "Can you come over?" He smiled.

_"Gimme 10."_ He said, and V let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding.

“Thanks, Vik.” She offered him a small smile, which he returned.

“ _Sure thing. Be there soon_.” She ended the call, breathing out slowly, looking across her apartment.

_Dark. Quiet. Empty_. 

She shook her head, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed, reaching for a cropped t-shirt and pulling it over her head. She picked up her cigarette case - a sleek, metallic design that Judy had gifted her - and put one between her lips, lighting the end and inhaling as she got to her feet. Leaning against her window, she blew out the smoke, trying to ignore the numb feeling curling in her gut. Vik was coming; she wouldn’t be alone for much longer. She got lost watching the neon lights outside of the megabuilding, feeling like she’d stepped outside of herself, so much so that she almost didn’t hear the buzzer ring out at her apartment door. Stubbing out her cigarette, she dropped her cigarette case on the table in front of the couch and headed over to the door, waving her hand over the sensor. Light from outside of the apartment poured in, and she squinted against it, stepping aside to let the tall figure come inside.

"Hey, sweetheart." Vik stepped in, kissing the top of her head. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing him in, and looked up at him when he nudged her arm with a coffee cup. She gratefully accepted, thanking him with a tired smile before taking a sip, turning to head across the apartment to the sunken couch as he slipped off his jacket. His eyes trailed over the small section of her back that was visible between the bottom of her cropped t-shirt and the top of her underwear, down the gorgeous curve of her hips and her slender legs. He tore his gaze away, throwing his jacket over the back of the chair at her desk.

V settled down on the couch, sipping the coffee, humming as the deliciously warm liquid slid down to her stomach. Vik sat beside her, one leg tucked under the other to face her as he lay his arm across the back of the couch. She fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand, instead taking another sip of her coffee.

"So,” He said gently. “What’s goin’ on?” He waited patiently as she set her coffee down on the table and picked up her cigarette case, pulling one out and sticking it between her lips. She held the case out to Vik and he took one, leaning in when V flicked the lighter and held it out to him. She lit her own, inhaled deeply and blew out the smoke, leaning her elbow on the back of the couch and resting her head on her hand.

"I don't know how to move on from any of this." She says finally. "I miss him." She takes another drag of her cigarette.

"Jackie?" Vik asks, and V shakes her head.

"I mean, yes," She says, blowing out the smoke. "Of _course_ I miss him."

"So… you mean Johnny?" V nods.

"He was a part of me, Vik," She says, almost pleading for him to understand. "He was always with me and now that he's gone, I-" she cuts herself off, a lump forming in her throat.

She takes a drag of her cigarette, hand shaking as she pulls it away and squeezes the bridge of her nose with her fingers. He laid his hand gently on her arm, an anchor, and she leaned into his touch.

"I can't explain the connection we had." She says. "It's like we were one person, y'know?" Vik nods. "He was a fuckin' asshole. God, he was infuriating,” She smiled sadly. “But… we understood each other, I think. He fought for me, in the end. Made sure Alt fixed me and sent me back in one piece." She leaned over to stub her cigarette out in the ashtray, sighing as she sat back on the couch.

“I feel so... lonely,” She says quietly, and Vik tilts his head to the side a little. “It’s so quiet without him. And then I think about Jackie-" Her voice cracks, then, and she swallows the lump in her throat, tears filling her eyes.

“Hey,” Vik discards his cigarette before shuffling closer and pulling her legs over his lap, reaching a hand up to stroke her hair. “It’s okay, V.”

She can’t bring herself to look at him. She’d never allowed herself to cry in front of anyone - not at Jackie’s ofrenda, and not after Panam had dropped her off at Vik's clinic, when it was all over; even then she hadn't cried. She'd just let herself get lost in the safety of his embrace, breathing him in. It wasn't until she'd gone home later that night that the gravity of it all hit her like a ton of fucking bricks and she'd broken down, crying like she'd never cried in her life. All of the grief she'd held inside poured out of her, and she’d cried until her throat was raw, her eyes were sore and she was heaving into the toilet.

“Jackie was family.” She whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away, staring across the apartment. “And I-” She screwed her eyes shut, bringing a hand up to cover her face, silently begging for the images to get out of her head. “I watched him die.” Vik clenched his jaw, gently running his knuckles over her tear stained cheek.

“Sometimes it feels like everything is just… pressing down _so hard_ on my chest,” She said, gesturing to herself. “And I can barely breathe, and,” She paused, voice shaking. She inhaled sharply, letting out a shuddering breath and whispered, “It’s fucking unbearable.”

Vik remained quiet, watching her, brow furrowed in concern as he held her knees against his chest. She took a deep breath, the heaviness clutching her heart forcing the lump straight back into her throat again. Her bottom lip was quivering, and she sniffed, wiping her eyes.

“But then there’s you,” She said suddenly, looking down at the floor and Vik’s hand hesitates on her cheek for a moment. “The only person that makes me feel like I can take a fucking breath.” He considered her for a moment, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"What are you saying?" He asked tentatively, and V looked at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm saying that if I lost you too, that's just not something I could fucking survive, Vik." 

"V," he whispered, thumb tracing her jaw. "I ain't goin' anywhere." She leans into his touch, closing her eyes and reaching up with both hands to cup his own. A warmth enveloped her heart, then, and she sighed, letting her breathing return to normal. 

"Stay with me?" She asked, opening her eyes. He smiled, pulling her hands towards his lips. He kissed her knuckles, stroking them with his thumbs.

“Of course.” She watched him for a moment, before a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she thanked him as she got to her feet.

"I'll be back in a sec." She said, squeezing his hand before letting go. "Make yourself comfortable." She gestured to her bed and headed to the bathroom. She leaned against the sink, looking at herself in the mirror. For a moment, she half expected Johnny to appear behind her, and something twisted in her gut at the thought. She sighed, turning on the faucet and cupping her hands underneath the water. She leaned down, splashing the water over her face and around her neck, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

_Johnny’s gone,_ she told herself. _He’s not coming back._

V grabbed a towel, patting her face and neck, glancing one more time at the mirror before tossing the towel down and switching off the light, heading out of the bathroom. Stepping back into the dark space that didn’t feel so empty anymore, she looked over to find Vik sitting on the edge of her bed, resting his arms on his knees, looking out of the window. His shoes sat on the floor beside him, his shirt and tank top folded up on top. She’d never seen him without his signature ripperdoc attire, and swallowed at the sight of his bare chest, broad and firm and thoroughly inviting. His boxing glove necklace hung over his clavicle, the light from outside bouncing off of the golden charm.

She stood in front of him, and Vik looked up at her, his stomach in knots. _Fuck_ , he thought. _She’s so beautiful_. Her long, dark hair hung over her shoulder in messy waves; the cropped white t-shirt she wore hugged her chest, exposing her navel, and the sight of soft skin disappearing underneath lacy underwear left his head spinning. The lights of Night City cast a blue hue over her dark apartment, with pink neon lighting the side of her body, caressing every curve of her gorgeous form.

"There she is," he said quietly, shuffling back a little and holding out his hand. "C'mere, sweetheart." V positively fucking melted as she took his hand, allowing him to guide her down as she knelt either side of his hips, straddling his lap. She sat back on his knees, hands tentatively on his chest, and his large hands gently stroked the small of her back.

"I'm gonna be with you through it all, all right?" He said, and she slid her hands up around his neck, resting her arms lazily over his shoulders, fingers stroking the hair at the top of his neck. "However long it takes, _whatever_ it takes. You don't have to do this alone."

V suddenly thought of their first kiss - their only kiss - and wondered how the hell two weeks had passed since she felt his lips against her own. Her heart was swelling in her chest at his earnest words, and sighed, the love she had for him filling her up and forcing every negative thought out of her head.

"Vik, I-" She cut herself off, unable to tear her eyes away from his own. He smiled, warm and genuine and full of love. She slid a hand around to cup his cheek, tracing her thumb over his lips, and he turned his face into her hand, kissing her palm. Her heart absolutely _soared_.

"I…" She said again, and he looked up at her. She'd never said the words. He waited patiently, hands sliding round to her thighs, stroking the soft skin gently. V found herself leaning in, nuzzling his nose with her own, a gorgeous smile lighting up his face as she pressed her lips against his. _God,_ she wished she could stay here, like this, forever. Nothing had ever felt so right in her entire life. She felt the grief, the pain, all of it wash away with every brush of his lips against her own.

She pulled away suddenly, throwing caution to the wind.

"I love you." He pulled back, considered her, and said nothing. Her cheeks flushed and she was just about ready for the ground to swallow her whole, when he chuckled.

"Well, I'll be damned," he said, and she smiled nervously. "I love you, too, V."

She heaved a sigh of relief, dropping her head onto his shoulder as he laughed - a truly glorious sound - and wrapped his arms around her back.

"How could I _not_ , hm?" He said, and she sat back. He tucked her hair behind her ear, pulling her in for another kiss, running his thumb across her jaw. It was a sweet kiss - slow, soft, loving. Vik pulled away, smiling up at her, and kissed her once more.

"Waddya say we try to get some sleep?" He asked, and V nodded.

"Okay." He scooted back on the bed, one arm wrapped around V's middle, bringing her with him as he clumsily laid back. She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips, a sound that made Vik's heart positively fucking ache with adoration. They settled on the pillows, facing each other, and Vik's glasses tilted off his nose. V tentatively pulled them away from his face, breath hitching in her throat when she was met with a sea of gorgeous turquoise. She’d never seen him without his glasses before, and reached blindly behind her to set his glasses on top of his clothes. She traced the outline of his face, her gaze locked onto his eyes, and smiled.

"You're beautiful." She said suddenly, and Vik laughed, his cheeks turning a delicate shade of pink. "Viktor Vektor, are you _blushing_?" He snorted as he buried his face into the pillow. V couldn't help but grin, and the ripperdoc's eyes returned to her own, cracking a smile that made her dizzy.

"Not somethin' I've ever been told," he said, and V smiled, running her fingers through his hair. Vik watched her, his hand absentmindedly stroking her hip. Her eyes soon grew tired, and she shuffled closer to him, burying her face into his chest, tangling her legs with his own. He wrapped her up in his arms, stroking her hair.

"Feelin' any better?" He asked quietly, and felt her nod, humming against his chest. She yawned, and he smiled, kissing the top of her head.

“Night, sweetheart.”


End file.
